Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I'm Tired

I'm tired of talking and asking and shouting and yelling and not having a single person hear me. I'm a person, this isn't in my head, I'm talking, but why aren't you hearing me? Why do I need to ask over and over and over? Why do I have to yell? Why does it have to get to a place where I am so overcome with frustration that I want to cry? Is it so hard to just hear me and do what I ask? I'm a person, listen to me and validate that I'm actually here.

I'm so tired of not getting any help. Every time I turn around another mess is made. I can spend 20 minutes cleaning one area to find another area completely trashed. All I do, all day long, is pick things up, put things away. Does anyone even acknowledge that I've done anything? I'm a person, I'm here and I'm the one that keeps this place looking decent. I'm the one making your meals, cleaning your clothing, taking you places, buying you the things you need. It's not just "what I do" it's what I care about, but that doesn't make it easy. Just thank me. Or help me. Please, I'm a person and these are real things.

I'm so tired of no one taking care of me. I have needs too. Physical needs, emotional needs. Everyone needs someone to take care of something, and I'm feeling like all I do is give... till every little bit of myself is going to be gone.

I'm so tired of people who are emotional parasites. Taking too much, not understanding or caring about anyone else. Leaving you waiting. Monopolizing your time. Not truly considering you, just out to achieve their satisfaction. People who take everything from you, from gifts to a stick of gum and never, ever offering anything in return. People who don't see you as a person, don't listen, don't help, don't care.

I'm just tired of it.


Dad29 said...

Congratulations on Mommy-hood!

Jenn said...

I hear you....and agree wholeheartedly and now I don't feel so bad because now I have you also going through that with your boys too...we are no longer alone.