Friday, September 26, 2008

5 Things That Drive Me BONKERS!

1. Redundancy. Ie: "2:00AM in the morning". AM means Ante Meridiem, which is Latin for "before noon", duh. One or the other, people!

2. Dogs. Yeah, I know, I'm pure evil. Ug, I mean, everything about dogs SUCKS. Seriously, these animals will eat their own shit, used tampons, diapers… anything!! They are foul, drooly and useless. Personally, I'm waiting for my own dog to die. It has a life expectancy of 10 years, and thank the Lord, we're about half way. PETA probably just put out a hit on me.

3. "Kewl" and other phonetically spelled words. People who use words like this should be beaten with a sock full of nickels. Morons.

4. People who expect me to remember stupid details about their lives. Um, I'm drunk douche bag, I don't remember what day it is.

5. When my husband drinks my wine. Listen, I don't have much anymore. Ask a Mom what she has that's just for her. It may take her awhile to think of something. I do have a small stash of candy because sometimes this girl needs chocolate, but really… I don't have much. It's all been hijacked by my children. Even the bathroom, but you don't need to know about that. Recently I bought I gate for my bedroom door because I just couldn't take one more day of my drawers ransacked, the clothes pulled out of my closet, and my things touched and moved around. But I digress, my wine. I love my wine. It's my favorite. I spend a lot of time in the liquor store (while my kids are out in the running car eating Smarties) picking just the right kind. I look forward to opening each of them. And it just depressing that my husband, who just doesn't care about the smell or the taste (ICE CUBES IN RED!!), guzzles it like it's beer. I just hate it.