Saturday, July 26, 2008

My Funny Champ

I'm back in love with my eldest son. Anyone with children understands that you go through phases with your kids. This is not to say that I didn't love Champ (don't be absurd), I just wasn't into him, so much. The Terrible 2's had stretched long into his 3's (I'm told this is common), and we butted heads on everything. But lately, we've really turned things around. Champ still has his moments (and I'm sure I do too), but things are getting so much better.

One of the things that I love about Champ right now is his obsession with turning 4. His birthday cake, his balloons, the presents, the things he'll be able to do when he's big... and to Champ, 4 is big. I'm scared he'll be disappointed that his world hasn't magically changed on the morning of his 4th birthday. Some one has very high expectations, and this Mom is scared she won't be able to do it all.

I'm also really loving his infatuation with babies, specifically his baby cousin, Boof. He talks about "my cousin" all day long. He's even started telling people that he's having a baby very soon. People always look at me like "Reeeally?" with a sly little smile. I had to take matters into my own hands, and when I saw these little baby dolls at Target for only $3, I had to get one for each of the boys. And let me tell you it was the best thing I ever did. Champ LOVES this doll in a way I couldn't have envisioned. He shushed me when his baby doll, Danny, was sleeping. He wrapped Danny up in his special blankie (his blankie is, by the way, a girl and called Baby). Champ is very sweet and gentle, and what mother wouldn't fall in love with that?

And baby-doll Danny, brings me to my next favorite thing about Champ, and that is all the funny little things he has to say. This afternoon while we were watching Cinderella (for the 5th time this week... he just loves Gus the mouse), he looked over at me and said, "Mommy, can we talk about this baby I'm growing in my belly?" I hadn't noticed, but he had put baby-doll Danny under his shirt. Seriously, it was everything I could do not to laugh at him, because he was very serious. Can we talk about it? Why, of course we can!

So, I guess Champ is back on my list of favorite things, and I'm sure I'll have plenty more funny little things about him to share... unless turning 4 is as difficult as I'm told it will be.

Friday, July 18, 2008

I Like Alcohol

Obviously, I was in a bad mood today. (See "32 Hours Without Internet" for reasons why.) And really had no patience, particularly for my nearly 4 year old son's "baby talk".

"Teddy Grahams," he whined/cooed.

"What? I don't understand you when you talk like that." Even thought I did (it's a Mom thing).

"Teddy Grahams," he repeated, a little less whiny.

"Why are you saying that?" Suspicious.

"That just means I like them." He looks at me sweetly. I know he wants them, but it's 9am and even though I'm in crisis-mode, I'm not giving him a snack 45 minutes after he's had breakfast. And he knows it too.

"Well, I like alcohol," I mutter as I turn and walk up the stairs.

Behind me I hear, "Alcohol?" in that sickeningly cooey/whiny baby voice.

32 Hours Without Internet

So I log on Thursday morning ready for an exciting day of Internet fun! Wednesday night I posted adorable pictures of my boys on my Facebook page and knew there would be lots of fun comments about them, an email about my nephew's surgery, and not to mention how much pleasure I get from chatting with my friends. Alas, my service provider had different plans for me.

At first, I was just a little panicky. Why isn't this working, what's happening, what do I do? But then I was okay... I called Charter, and listened to the automated message telling me they knew there were problems in my area. Content that someone was on top of this, I distracted myself with taking care of my children (maybe I should re-examine my priorities?), and getting ready for our day. But then I had to look again. I called Charter again, listening to the same message... I bargained with myself that I could wait till the afternoon. I shut my computer down. I felt a moments sadness that I wasn't able to say good morning to this other part of my world, but knew that after lunch and during nap time I would be able to bliss out in front of the screen. The wait would be worth it.

When the Internet wasn't working after lunch I became agitated. I called Charter again, lying to the woman on the phone that I did a little work from home because who else panics like this when they can't look at Facebook, for Christ's sake?! Turns out they're upgrading the system or some BS like that, and I won't be able to get online until after 9 PM! Good God, take me now! Despite being told the Internet would be out all day, I kept checking obsessively all the while wondering if anyone would really notice I was gone? I thought about being online while reading, I thought about being online during my Pilate's class, I thought about being online while eating... it was consuming my every waking moment. Eventually I had to try to fall asleep without the sweet relief of seeing or communicating with any of my friends. I had dreams about my computer.

When the morning arrived and there was no change, I was in full-on freak-out mode. I was rude with Sharon from Charter. Sharon insisted the problem wasn't theirs, it must be the router. I was pleading and near tears with the Linksys dude, who was gentle but firm when he told me the problem wasn't theirs. And I was full-on SOBBING to my husband when I pulled him out of a meeting to relay that I still couldn't get online, and no one could help me (besides a licensed psychiatrist). During all of this, my children were barely fed and wondering what was wrong with Mommy.

My Internet dependency was out of my hands... I knew the only way out of this was to get help. My husband, my rock, would save me. Never mind his job, he understood that if I didn't get help immediately, lives would be in mortal peril. Communication with Charter was now in his hands.

I couldn't be near my computer, yet it called to me like a siren... I left the house. We drove aimlessly, part of me on the look out for other Internet sources, until I realized my children needed food. We ate, I didn't taste anything. It was like all my senses had shut off, my mind could only think of one thing... Facebook, IM, email... it ran through my head like a mantra. I talked to my husband who had finally found someone to help me, and it was fixed. I went home, disbelieving, but with a glimmer of hope. Of course it didn't work.

I texted my husband, "the people at Charter are motherf*ckers." I told my sister and my friend that "I was getting a gun and killing everyone in Charter's office " It was ugly. I cried. I bargained with God. My husband came home early, my white knight. Another call to Charter, more system restarts...

And now, at long last, I'm back on my crack!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I Heart Facebook

Facebook. Totally obsessed with it. I've had the opportunity to reconnect with so many people from all different stages of my life. Like, I found a girl that I last saw in the fifth grade! Facebook has helped me rekindle relationships with girlfriends from college that I hadn't seen or spoken with in years. Now we try to get together every month or so. But probably most interestingly, Facebook brought a boy back into my life who still makes me gooey inside... sigh.

What is it about those crushes that never go away? Like those celebrities we loved as kids, and whom we still defend. (Corey Haim, I'm talking about you... your drug problem wasn't your fault! It's the industry! It's Feldman's fault, he left you behind! You're still a cutie to me... even if you're a little skanky & puffy.) Anyway, why are there some people we just can't shake?

I think it's a combination of chemistry & romanticism. You can't deny chemistry. Either you have it or you don't, and when you do, look out because a breeze could make you go weak in the knees in lust with that person. And of course, romance. I mean seriously, if you couldn't make it work when you were seeing each other, lord knows it wouldn't work with all the miles, years & baggage you have between you. But romance makes you dream about it and wonder.

So right now, I'm doing a little wondering, but know in my heart that like all crushes, this one will undoubtedly fade away. Sigh... But I'll always have Facebook!

Good Times

My husband and I went out tonight... and for the record, I don't get out much. Therefore I've completely lost my ability to socialize. Now if we're being honest, and I always am, I'm tons of fun, but not everyone likes my fun. I'm opinionated and a little bit in your face, and after 2 glasses of wine, I'll totally let you know about my "drinking problem". Which is sorta hypothetical, but to a room full of drunk people, that's hilarious! Kind of what I'm all about... not exactly good for my husbands "career", but thankfully, he loves me anyway...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

First Time

So, I've recently started reading blogs, and figured that I can do this too. But, you know, I may not have a lot to say. Not to mention it seems that you have to have a certain amount of willingness to let other people (STRANGERS) into your life. And anyone that knows me knows I NEVER talk to strangers.

I don't know why. I don't think I'm socially awkward. I think I'm entertaining and funny and fun to talk to (especially after I've had a drink or two). So maybe for me to talk to strangers I need to be drinking... hmm. I suppose a light white wine in the morning wouldn't be too harsh, but then knowing my ability to get drunk in the blink of an eye, I'd never be able to leave my home. Drunk driving a minivan with 2 kids strapped (or maybe not, I would-hypothetically-be drunk) in back is not cool.

I have a friend, M, who makes friends everywhere she goes. In fact, one of my best friends, K, is a result of M's talent. I had my doubts when M told me they met at a hardware store, but K is great, and our kids love each other. Funny, because now I kinda don't like M so much anymore...

But I digress... and look where it got me! I'm sharing with strangers. Who am I kidding? No one will read this.