Thursday, August 05, 2010


Friend: "I literally live for the time of day that i sit down in front of the my pjs..and have my makes me so happy"

Me: "Yes, it's what heaven feels like"

Tuesday, August 03, 2010


Friend: "what do u think michele duggars boobs look like after 19 pregnancies and breastfeeding"

Me: "What about her pussy? Bet she can't use tampons. Her body just automatically births them right back out."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Hello Captain Obvious

Our boys play soccer on Tuesday nights and we usually force feed them a peanut butter & jelly sammich before they head out... Tonight I said to my husband:

"I thought you were making the pb & js?"

And he replied, "I can't find any jelly".


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Extra Lucky

Overheard on the way to Home Depot:

Champ: "Mom, why do you have two boys?"

Me: "Because I'm lucky."

Champ: "Well, you're gonna be extra lucky, cause you're gonna have THREE boys!"

Oh, the sweetness of a 4 year old. Sometimes they really wow you with the wonderful things that they say. (Almost makes me feel guilty for the sarcastic intentions of my "I'm Lucky" remark.)

Champ is absolutely convinced that we're having a boy. He really won't even entertain the option that the baby might be a girl. When I commented later that I'll be lucky to have a baby girl too, because all babies are special and we're lucky to have them, Champ disagreed. However, I think that when the baby comes he'll be super happy no matter what it is. He's one of those kids with "baby joy", he sees them and gushes about how cute and little they are. Other moms think he's adorable and I hear all the time what a great big brother he is/will be. And I agree, Champ is a big sweetie.

Bear thinks we're having a girl, because naturally they must disagree about it. Although I don't think Bear really even understands what all this baby nonsense is about, and I'm a little nervous about his reaction when the time comes. There are probably a ton of books I can buy about it, but I'm really not that kinda mom. He's kind of waffling between being a big boy and being my baby. He still has that wonderful baby fat, which makes him completely irresistible, but he really wants to be a big boy too. He recently started potty training himself. Just hopped right on and pooped. It was a little shocking, and I'm not really giving it a lot of time. When he asks to go, we put him up there. I don't want to be one of those suckers who works for a year an a half on the potty training. I might not be giving my child what he "needs" but who really wants to spend their days cleaning underwear? I have enough laundry as it is...

But I digress. Baby fever is getting high around here, which is a little disconcerting because it is 3 and half months away yet, and I'm really not ready to be a mom to 3! And my husband turns an awful shade of pale green whenever I remind him of how far along I am. You'd think that would be something he could keep track of given my expansion... Funny story, he asked the nurse about contractions and when to bring me to the hospital at our last appointment. She was a little amused that he wanted to know so early (I'm only 23 weeks), but that's the kind of guy he is. He'll probably ask at every appointment we go to from now on. Meanwhile, I'm just getting fatter and more uncomfortable and even though I shouldn't, I can't help but freak out about weight gain. But that doesn't stop me from eating whatever I darn well please... bring on the spicy chicken wings!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Absentee Blogger

So, I've totally been on hiatus, huh? Don't be angry with me, I've been busy. With what? I guess I can't say. Just life. It's been hectic. When my husband and I were pregnant with our first child we assumed that our lives would be less busy, we'd travel less and just be home more. So not true. Life continues at the same frantic pace, and you're left dealing with the stress of having to drag your kid along.

I've also had a couple things going on that I haven't necessarily wanted to blog about, as this blog was quickly discovered by my Dad and more recently by at least one of my younger sisters and my Mom. Isn't it interesting that I'm comfortable venting and revealing personal details to strangers, but am not really interested in sharing my thoughts with my family? I've already censored my thoughts and "stuff" a lot... and now knowing that my whole family is privy to it all makes me feel like a teenager who's Dear Diary has been passed around. I guess I could ask them not to read it, but know them and thereby know they'd read it anyway. So here I am, stunted in my creative endeavor.

Anyway, one of the things I "could not" blog about is my pregnancy. Yay! I'm having a baby! It's nice to say that. I'm not terribly superstitious about the 1st trimester thing, at least I wasn't in the past. Had I been blogging during my first and second pregnancy, I'm certain I would've said something much sooner. As it is, I'm about 18 weeks now and haven't been terribly public about it. We told our families right away and I've been telling friends when I see them, but as a "blogger" and on Facebook I haven't wanted to say anything. I'm sure some of my FB friends could guess, but I'm just not certain I want it out there. Is that strange? Maybe it's because I've done this all before and have 2 beautiful and healthy boys that I realize how delicate it all is and know that anything can go wrong. Maybe as I've gotten older I've become less comfotable with being the center of attention. Maybe I was so surprised by it that it's taken me extra long to wrap my brain around it all. Maybe it's because I know this is my last pregnancy that I want to keep it mine, keep it all to myself, keep it private and special. I don't know...

But now I feel comfortable talking about what's been in my head for so long. So, I'm due October 8th, and won't find out the baby's sex. We didn't find out with the boys, and I see no reason to find out this time either. I told my husband that if I know, I'll just start shopping, and we really don't need that, do we?

Three is daunting, huh? Maybe it's just me, but it makes me nervous. I know my husband is freaking out, but what doesn't he freak out about? It's that whole "we'll be out-numbered" thing. I have a hard time getting 2 into bed, I just can't imagine having another one in the queue. Or maybe with the boys turning 5 and 3 it'll be easier than when Champ was just 2 and Bear was a newborn. Awww, aren't I cute? I'm trying to talk myself out of a panic attack...

Anyway, I hope to be posting more, but really can't make any promises about it. It might not be interesting or funny, because I'm only funny when I'm hammered and, sadly, no booze for me. See, I love my baby! (But this is the last one because, damn, I love my wine.)